12 Reasons Why Nurses Argue at Home


There are a lot of reasons why nurses struggle at home. But when I think about what the issues really are, this is what I come up with.

We’re tired. When we get home from a 12 13 or 14 hour shift, we’re exhausted! Literally all day long we have been thinking about “what do I need to do next?” Our minds never shut off, and on top of that, we’re physically working. Sometimes without a break. Often short-staffed. We are constantly pushing and pulling and bending and answering request after request after request. I want to take a nap just thinking about it. So when we finally get home, we don’t want to have to do more work. We just want to rest and recoup. But sometimes our families don’t understand that. Sometimes I literally think my family thinks I rock babies all day long.

We’ve had to fake being nice and happy all day. I’m not saying we aren’t nice and happy. I’m saying we’re not all nice and happy 100% of our shift. And sometimes we just aren’t happy, for whatever reason, but in the customer service industry, we can’t let that show. We don’t want anyone, especially our patients, to know that our day is going to hell in a handbasket. So when we get home, we don’t want to fake being anything. In fact, all of our emotions are just bubbling up, ready to spill out if you give us the wrong answer or a questionable look.

We couldn’t scream at who we really wanted to. I’m just keeping it real. Sometimes we work with difficult people who we just want to scream at and trip as they walk by. But the professional in us takes over, and we check our pulse and just stay semi-silent. But when we get home it’s like all filters are off. And by that time, we have a lot that we want to say. We just don’t know if you want to hear it 😞

We are ready for someone to take care of us. Come on now, we’ve been taking care of people (and sometimes ungrateful ones) all.day.long. When we are finally in the comfort of our own home, we just want someone to ask us if we want another glass of water wine. We forget that our partners have also been working, and may want the same thing. But just for the record, you know they probably weren’t dealing with the same kind of things that we were practically drowning in for the entire day.

We don’t want anyone to need anything. Don’t ask us for anything. Don’t want anything. In fact, don’t even ask questions. By the end of a long shift, we’re kind of at that point. But let’s face it—when we are finally home, we haven’t been there all damn day, and people need things from us. They just need us. Sometimes they don’t even need us, they just miss us! Which is okay, and we get it, but it’s still hard to deal with when we’ve been taking care of other people’s needs continuously, all day long.

Just don’t call our name. Let us just not have to respond.

We’ve been cleaning up after people all day. Nurses are seriously like professional maids. We are constantly tidying up after people, people who you KNOW do not do that while they’re at their own home, or if they do, should know better. When we get home we don’t want to have to keep picking up after other people.

We can’t think.  Depending on how rough our shift was, our brain can feel a little frazzled. Sometimes, by the end of the day, we just can’t think another thought. So when we walk through the door and our partners want to discuss things, that’s just the last thing on our minds.

Not tonight. On second thought, THIS is the last thing on our minds after a rough shift. It’s like—did I really wash off all that c. diff? That’s not sexy! And to be honest, I’ve been dealing with body fluids for the majority of my shift. Keep yours to yourself please! (at least for tonight).

We just don’t want to have to do anything. Just for 5 minutes. If we’ve had a really crazy day, we literally want to do nothing when we get home. We don’t want to know that in x amount of minutes we’re going to have a task or chore to do.

Other people can’t multitask like we can. People who are not healthcare providers just can’t juggle as many balls as we can, because they’re not asked to do that every hour, of every day that they are at work. It becomes very irritating that other people in our house can’t manage to do half of what we’re asked to do on a daily basis.

Others may not be able to critically think as well as we do. Other people who aren’t healthcare providers aren’t able to critically think as well as we can. And sometimes we just want to scream don’t you know that THIS leads to THIS and then THIS will happen?!? But the answer is no. They don’t know that. And sometimes that is very hard to deal with.

There’s no end in sight. One of the hardest things we deal with is that there’s no end in sight. It’s not like we check things off of our list and then we’re done. Our list is never ending. We will never get to say I’ve done everything, I’m finished. There is always something else to do. There is always something we missed. And that is very hard to come to terms with.


Until my next delivery ❤

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