Game of Thrones Does Labor and Delivery

 

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This is how I feel when a patient is covered with tattoos and then tells me she’s scared of getting an IV.

 

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This is how I feel when I get report on a patient, and she immediately needs an epidural, fresh ice, more pillows, and her pad changed.

 

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This is how I feel when a doctor gets angry that the correct glove size isn’t on the table.

  (p.s. doc, I don’t set up the sterile tables!)

 

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This is how I feel when a patient’s family asks me for the 100th time when the baby will be born, I finally make up a time, and then the baby is actually born within a couple of minutes of my educated guess.
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This is how I feel when I’m asked to crawl around on my hands and knees and try to insert Cytotec rectally under a sterile drape in the OR.

 

 

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This is how I feel when a patient tells me she can “still feel everything” after getting an epidural, but she’s not screaming and withering around, like she was before the epidural.
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This is how I feel when a patient’s blood pressure drops after her epidural, the baby crashes, and I scramble to fix it before the doctor sees the strip and calls a STAT section.
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This is how I felt the one time I lost heart tones, went to adjust the monitor, and the baby was in the bed: (I was in the bathroom for THREE minutes! And in my defense, she was 2cm an hour before, was barely contracting, and she wasn’t complaining of any pain or pressure!)

 

 

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This is how I felt when that same mom said “I thought I felt something between my legs”.

 

 

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This is how I feel when night shift tells me that a patient is 7, I pull back the blanket to check her, and the baby is crowning: (well played night shift, well played)
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This is how I feel when I tell night shift a patient is 7, and I know by the time they check her, there’s a big possibility the baby might be crowning: (um, but my table is set-up!)

 

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This is how I feel when a patient asks me if they’ll be able to push a baby out with a catheter in, and I have to explain that there is more than one hole down there.

 

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This is how I feel when my mom delivers with one push, does not require any kind of repair, and her baby gets 9/9 apgars.
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This is how I feel every time I leave work after a ton of deliveries, endless amounts of charting, and constantly trying to please doctors, patients, their families, and my boss.

 

 

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And again, this is why I go back.

 

I think one of these is from ‘Lord of the Rings’ 😃 but it’s true, I think it’d be so cool to be a labor and delivery wizard!!!  Anterior lip?! Poof! GONE. OP baby?! Taaaadaaaaa! LOA.

L&D can be physically and emotionally draining, some doctors are easy to work with and some make you want to poke your eyes out, and sometimes you’re lucky to eat for the first time at 4 o’clock (if at all!)…but the moment the baby is born makes everything worth it.  Even though we don’t always see eye-to-eye, all of us want what’s best for mom and baby.  And that’s why we all come back the next day 😃

 

Until my next delivery ❤


9 thoughts on “Game of Thrones Does Labor and Delivery

  • April 14, 2014 at 1:29 pm
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    Oh my goodness!! These are hilarious! When the sheets are moving and you can find heart tones….so funny!

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  • April 15, 2014 at 2:24 am
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    The catheter/hole one happened to me too!

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  • April 15, 2014 at 5:25 am
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    It would figure that asking you to do a clip about placing Cytotec during a cesarean would mean that I would have to do it within an hour of starting my shift this afternoon. Thanks for another laugh.

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  • May 26, 2014 at 10:12 am
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    Absolutely hilarious!!

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  • January 4, 2016 at 11:56 am
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    I just love the feeling when the doctor thinks I have no idea what I am talking about when I say to come for delivery and they stand in the room and just look at me and the patient saying she isn’t ready and then I deliver the baby while they finally are getting their gown on. I just give them that look like “told you”. Eventually if you work for a place like I did for 12 years in a high risk OB unit they finally ask you what you think they should do and you think to yourself “who is the doctor…im ONLY a nurse remember”

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  • January 4, 2016 at 11:59 am
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    I had a patient put her call light on and when asked what she needed she said she hears a baby crying. You go into the room, lift up the sheet and there is a baby in the bed. I just looked up and was thinking how the hell can you not know you had that watermelon come out of your vagina and is between your legs?

    Reply
  • January 4, 2016 at 12:02 pm
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    I love the patients that fly back up the bed when you barely put the tip of your finger in her vagina and look over at the dad and ask how did she even get pregnant? Or the ones that deliver the head, go out of control and run up the bed as you have a very bad shoulder dystocia and you literally have to slap her, tell her to shut up and push the damn baby out because she is killing it

    Reply

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