12 Things No One Ever Told Me About Motherhood

Pregnancy is exciting, until the nausea and back pain and pelvic pressure begin. The weird thing is, everyone kind of knows these things come with pregnancy, but it’s like we’re in some magic la-la land of oblivion until things start to fall apart.

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You will relish 5 minutes alone in the bathroom, until your kids learn to open the door. And they will also learn to shut the door when you purposely leave it open when you know you may be a few minutes 😉 and then scurry up the stairs unsupervised or try to dart out the front door. You know, barefoot and after taking off their diaper. It never ceases to amaze me that my husband can find a way to spend 30 minutes in there, but I’m expected to finish any business before someone calls child protective services.

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You will wish for every future event, until it happens, and then you just want to rewind time and go back. You can’t wait for them to crawl, but then you have to really watch them. You can’t wait for them to walk, but then they get into everything. You can’t wait to stop pumping, but then miss not being able to breastfeed. You can’t wait for them to sleep in their own bed, but then you miss their little warm body that radiates heat. You can’t wait for your kids to dress themselves, but then you miss getting to decide what they wear. You can’t wait for them to start talking, but then they never shut up. You want them to grow up, but you miss them being a baby.

Kids suck the energy right out of you. It’s like their full-time job. From the moment you find out you’re pregnant, they’re kind of like a parasite, taking whatever they need from you with no regard for your needs. It doesn’t matter to them if you haven’t eaten all day. They don’t care if you didn’t get any sleep. They expect you to play with them even though you have a billion other things to do. And you’ll do as much as you can and then go to bed exhausted and try your best again the very next day.

My baby, Lincoln thinking
My baby seems to be thinking “YOU’RE my mom?!?”

It’s guaranteed they will need you the moment you are on the phone or the doorbell rings. It’s like some sort of law! My kids will flat-out ignore me until the phone rings.

Children don’t know what day of the week it is. You might struggle to wake them up for school during the week, but then they’re up before sunrise on Saturday :/ It’s like a parent-curse. God only knows, during the week there is a morning struggle to get my daughter up before she misses the bus. She’s lucky to get breakfast and I’m not ever sure of what she’s wearing, but I consider it a win if she makes it out the door and actually catches the bus with her backpack. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve chased the school bus down with my car or had to drop her backpack off at school (only then to find her homework still on the kitchen table). Yes, I’m that mom :/

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You might pee on yourself when you laugh. Or cry. And forget about jumping jacks or trampolines. No one ever told me those days would be over…

Your children will see you at your worse, but still love you anyway. I gave up a long time ago trying to act perfect in front of my children. I’ve only seen my own mom cry one time in my life, when her mother died. But my daughter has seen me yell when I shouldn’t have and has seen me cry more than once. And I’m not one of those pretty criers. My face gets all splotchy and my mouth makes weird shapes and mascara runs down my face 😞 But she still loves me anyway, and even though I know there are a million and five ways I could be a better parent, she still thinks I’m “pretty good” (her words, not mine).

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You may not always like your children. I’m just keeping it real. You will always love and you usually like them….like 99.99% of the time. But my toddler is hitting the dog right now and my tween thinks she’s an attorney. And they always need something from me, even though dishes need to be washed, and I just got home from working 12 hours, and my husband is 1 foot away from them. They still come to me wanting to play, or wanting food, or demanding 15 minutes of my undivided attention to tell me a story that should have taken 5 seconds.

Going to work becomes your vacation. I work 6 days a week. Last week, I only worked 5 days. When I woke up, I told my husband he needed to work more because I wanted to work less and be at home more. But by the end of the day, I had baked a dozen cupcakes and a pan of brownies (what my daughter wanted to do), washed at least 4 loads of laundry, cleaned the kitchen at least 3 times (but it still looked the same), and I never stopped picking up toys. By the time I went to bed, it was midnight and I still had not taken a bath. My husband then griped for waking him up with the sound of the running water. As I crawled into bed, my hair soaking wet, I remembered that the kitchen STILL did not look clean and there were STILL toys everywhere. And then I thought—I can’t wait to go to work tomorrow. Sigh.

Kids get more expensive as they get older. I thought diapers were expensive. Then I thought daycare was expensive. Then I thought piano and art lessons were expensive. Now we’re talking about club volleyball and I think that is expensive. And then I thought…they’ll need a car one day. And then it hit me: O-m-g and then they’ll need COLLEGE. It’s an uphill battle that I’ll never win…

No matter what kids take from you, what they give back is worth so much more. Yes, they’re exhausting. Yes, they require a lot of attention. Yes, parenting is work, and it’s not always work that we do well. But we keep trying our best, and they reward us with pure, unconditional love.

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Until my next delivery ❤

And a reminder to every woman out there – Health Isn’t All About Losing Weight


10 thoughts on “12 Things No One Ever Told Me About Motherhood

  • May 10, 2015 at 3:42 pm
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    I swear you are living my life! I only have two words to say about the leaking urine issue….Bladder Sling!!!

    Reply
  • May 10, 2015 at 4:16 pm
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    I love your honesty! I am right there with you in everyone of those! Ha ha! After being a full-time homeschool mother with 6 kids, when I started back at school and put them all in school I was giddy with the freedom! The adult conversations! Structured learning! I was on top of the world! And I just finished nursing school and have lived to tell about it. :) I love your blog.

    Reply
  • May 10, 2015 at 9:27 pm
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    This was so entertaining to read! You’re definitely right about every point. :)

    Reply
  • June 7, 2015 at 1:35 pm
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    Reblogged this on The House of Hale and commented:
    All of these things are true, and I wouldn’t have it any other way with my Littles. :)

    Reply
    • June 9, 2015 at 2:42 am
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      thank you so much!! I am right there with you….I talked to my baby every single day and I never prayed so hard in my entire life!! I’m glad your baby was healthy <3

      Reply

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