10 Signs You’re Being Raised by a Nurse

There are lots of nurses in my family, including my mother, who has been a nursery nurse for almost 40 years. So I know a thing or two about being raised by a nurse…

Britta-Perry
Seriously?!?

You have to be bleeding to death or unconscious to go to the emergency room. When my dad started complaining of chest pain in the middle of the night and said he wanted to go to the ER, my mom warned him that it better not be his gallbladder. Halfway to the ER, she made him go back home so she could get her scrubs… you know, ’cause she worked the next day :/  Needless to say, it was not his gallbladder. You guessed it, he was having a heart attack.  I’m so glad he’s still around to not let her live that one down…Oh, and she didn’t notify any of her kids until the next morning, because “he didn’t die”, so she didn’t want to wake us up. I found out from a coworker who called me and said she was praying for our family :/

Dinner conversations are graphic. Think your day was bad?!? Asking a nurse about their day prompts a story that is borderline perverse and grotesque.  Hands down, their.day.was.worse. Trust me.  And anyone who has ever eaten with a nurse knows that eventually the weirdest, grossest, craziest, and best parts of their day will be retold ❤

You have a healthy fear of coming within a 15 foot radius of them when they get home from work. You may not be sure if you can even get HIV or Hep B that way… But you’ll stay over here just the same.  At least until they strip down and bathe in 103 degree water.  It’s weird how they rarely get sick or worry about catching whatever their patient is trying to dish out, but they are very concerned about passing anything to you. 

They have almost any medication you could ever need in their medicine cabinet (or purse).  You know, just in case there’s an apocalypse, or a sudden national shortage of Amoxicillin.  It may be 3 years old, but hey, they have it if you need it 😃 Have a headache? We got you covered. Upset stomach? Here you go. Nauseated? Here’s just what you need…

They work weird days of the week, and their schedules are made 3 months in advance.  And if your parent is a nurse, asking them to try to switch with someone at work is like asking them to go to the dentist, for a root canal, for fun.  They make it to 50% of soccer games, dance recitals, and school holiday parties. You know, because most nurses work every other weekend!

They have a lot of “bring-a-dish” parties. Of course, someone has to sign up for drinks and paper plates 😃 But nurses love food!  They could go into a carb-coma at any of these parties, it’s like a feast of every type of carb…alfred-eisenstaedt-evelyn-mott-playing-nurse-with-doll-as-parents-adjust-children-to-abnormal-conditions-in-wartimeMedical terminology is their terminology.  My daughter doesn’t say she has “bad poops.” She will come to me and say she has diarrhea. Then she’ll tell me what color it is, and what she ate before getting her upset stomach.  And she’s nine.  Her brother has a penis, babies come out of vaginas, and when she’s nauseated she tells me she’s going to vomit. She must have heard it from a nurse…

Someone at their work is probably collecting money for someone—or something.  Every week nurses are scrounging around for money for a wedding or a funeral, or needing a gift for someone who is going to have a baby (or a grandbaby).  It’s just what they do.

Their kids, friends, neighbors and strangers ask them for all sorts of medical advice.  Growing up, I was never afraid to ask my nurse mom absolutely anything.  From girlie problems, sex questions, to bathroom issues—nothing was off limits.  In fact…have a question?  Just ask a nurse!

They can handle any kind of crazy their kids could ever think about dishing out.  Because however crazy their kids may act—they’ve seen that kind of crazy and MUCH worse from a past patient.  If you were raised by a nurse, they can handle your kind of crazy. Nurses know how to de-escalate all kinds of situations 😃

Until my next delivery ❤

10 Signs You’re the Parent of a Newborn

 


6 thoughts on “10 Signs You’re Being Raised by a Nurse

  • December 19, 2015 at 3:19 pm
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    I remember one night, after working 3-11pm, my neighbor had waited up for me. As I walked past her apartment door around midnight she came out and asked me if I could give her CAT an injection. I looked at her and said “you donknow that I’m a nurse for humans right? I’m not even sure where you give a cat an injection?” She said “that’s alright. The vet showede how and I can show you. I just can’t do it myself.” So I made her agree that if something happened to her cat from the injection, she wouldn’t blamee and she had to hold onto the biting and scratching end of the cat. So I gave the cat his injection and went home to bed. The cat ended up being fine. It was a first for me!

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  • December 23, 2015 at 2:17 am
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    As a Home Care nurse, I had a client who weighed in excess of 600 lbs and he received an injection every month. He was moving out of my area but wanted me to give him one more injection before he left. So, he came to our office, honked his horn and I went outside. He was so big, his rear literally went from one side of his front seat to the other. He leaned his head out the drivers side window, I went to the passenger side, found the nearest thing I could believe was a muscle and gave his injection through the window. He thanked me and drove away. Never a dull moment in Nursing.

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  • December 28, 2015 at 9:13 pm
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    One Sunday morning as I was parking my car at church and about to turn off my phone, me brother (69) called me to ask what he should do if his blood sugar was over 400. After I gasped, took a deep breath and instructed him to have his wife drive him to the emergency room and to take a bag bc he wouldn’t be coming home today. He was stabilized and sent home the next day w his bs 275…still not knowing what caused the spike. He called me two hours later co pain in his chest. I ruled out other sx (SOB, n/v, dizziness, thirst deferred pain in his arm or shoulder. When I asked him what he ate on his way home, “Subway coldcut combo”, I told him to go back to the ER and to tell them not to run the same battery of tests but to check for gallbladder and pancreas issues. He had a necrotic gallbladder…smh. Not impressed with the ER that saw him 3 times before figuring that one out. To this day both brothers think I saved his life…lol

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  • December 30, 2015 at 9:57 pm
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    When one of my classmates fell on the playground I remember shouting, “Give her some room. I know what I’m doing; my mom’s a nurse.”

    As first aid, we would save popsicle sticks for impromptu splints. That, some Duct tape and an old sock could stabilize anything….or approximate it.

    I knew I was passing on the legacy when my son said from the back seat, “Why didn’t they put oxygen on him?” We were talking about teaching moment with students and an oxygen saturation of 80%. My son was 7.

    Honestly, there should be a support group for those of us who are children of nurses.

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  • January 16, 2016 at 6:43 pm
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    Ha, I wasn’t raised by a nurse, but I know several of them and can definitely attest to the graphic nurse stories – they’re full of them. And with each story, my respect for nurses grows more and more…

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  • January 30, 2016 at 11:01 pm
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    My daughter, 13, literally asked me the other day why I don’t take her to the ER when she has a stomach ache or when her joints hurt. She will never forgive me, or forget, the time she broke her arm and I just told her to put some ice on it (totally didn’t think it was broken). 45 mins later she’s still wailing like a banshee and I finally took her in. I felt bad but I am not going to run to the ER every time one of them trips in the back yard or twists an ankle, lol.

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